I still want it

October 16, 2008. As a freshman, your first final examinations in law school can really make you think about your commitment to studying the law. I’ve never experienced an end-of-semester final exam season this exhausting and stressful. Long hours of reading, series of sleepless nights, prolonged isolation from your non-law school friends and other activities really makes you ask yourself if it’s all worth it.

One night, I wanted to read all about the global economic crises and other related local issues but alas I had to read about how estranged spouses should settle the dissolution of their conjugal properties. The other day I wanted to go with my colleagues in the student council to this dialogue with the university president but I had to read about how adopted children can rescind their adoption.

Even if I already think I’m doing so much, it still feels barely enough. The other day, a few hours before taking my final exam in Persons & Family Relations, I was trembling in fear. I felt so inadequate and scared of failing. Another day of studying could’ve made a big difference, I kept thinking. If I fail my Persons & Family Relations class, I’m automatically on probation. Being on probation wouldn’t normally bother me. But it’s the expectations that I’m seeking to fulfill that really keep the pressure. One red mark and I’m disqualified. One more week and three more examinations to go for me. And who says I’m on sembreak after that? I’m immediately off to Davao for a student council congress, then to Zambales for a student council planning. Then before I know it, it’s already the beginning of another semester. That is if I don’t fail my subjects.

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