I am naturally competitive. I enjoy participating in competitions (may it be individual or team-ups). I have a passion for winning. I said I wanted to become a freeloader but I’m naturally not one. I can’t. Maybe that’s why I am seriously affected and depressed by my class’s lack of any desire to compete in most if not all of today’s competitions for Ani mo, ani ko.
I wasn’t even supposed to go to school today as a sign of disgust. But I couldn’t stop myself. I did go to school. We weren’t supposed to join any competitions today because we didn’t prepare anything. But, our class president forced us.
The first event was the dance competition. Oh God, I wish I didn’t remind myself. We didn’t choreograph anything. Our presentation was worse than a moshpit on stage. And I was at the centerstage of the performance. From then on, I’ve lost all my dignity for the day. I was even willing to join the karaoke contest and the stage skit presentations. I didn’t care anymore if I became one of the batch’s laughing stock!
What made it worse was that some of my classmates really didn’t seem to care at all. They didn’t even cheer my classmates who were presenting on stage. Some of them even left the venue long before my classmates got to present. See the lack of support?! (I want to applaud my classmates who braved stage fright and performed with barely any preparations).
Apathy is very contagious. Not all O-boys are talentless. In fact, it is not in anybody’s doubt that we are a class rich in various talents. But, most of them are deemed useless every time this prevalent disease strikes an epidemic every competition season. Talented people get very disheartened by the lack of support, even the lack of any little sign of sincere appreciation. That’s why we don’t perform our best. (Maybe that’s why none of us has ever gotten the first honor award even, those who can get it get ridiculed). I admit there are many, many times I entertained thoughts of wanting to be in some other section in our batch. It doesn’t make a difference anyway. I don’t really care, the brand semi-honors section just seems to be a fallacious generalization. There are some classes in our batch that I really, really envy. They seem to have ironed out their differences to work with each other with everybody’s cooperation and participate in all competitions and activities. My class rarely works as a team. Really. It would take more than a passionate speech from a popular figure in class to make me believe otherwise. Well, those are dramatic exaggerations. What I’m saying is, I can’t be my best when I’m with my class. Many people can’t develop their talents and be their best while they’re in 4-O. I guess we just all have to wait for the end of our high school life before that happens.
Do you realize how frustrating this is for me? It’s a sad experience for a competition-oriented, team-driven kid. It’s depressing. But then comes a thought, my friends are from 4-O. I’m not saying I wouldn’t make friends, better or worse, in other sections. But you know what, in as much the same way someone doesn’t get the chance to choose to which family he is born into, we don’t get the chance to choose to which class we get grouped with. And like a family, even though there are a lot of problems in it, years of staying with it attaches you to the members. They become your brothers, however much you don’t like how they act or think. That’s why I feel sad, it feels like years of wasted talents and opportunities.