My French residence permit expired today without me exercising the option to return to France, extend, or apply for citizenship. This puts a definite closure to a dream I once had of establishing a new and permanent life overseas.
Early this year, guided by a curious set of circumstances, I decided to return to the Philippines to take on a career in the Philippine foreign service. Up until yesterday, in the middle of a hectic workday, I was joking with my colleagues that I still had a few hours to spare and I could actually just pack up, take a spontaneous flight and get into Charles de Gaulle just before the 2nd of December ended and still be allowed entry with my valid card. Of course, I didn’t mean it, and my residence card is now ineffective.
Nanghihinayang ba ako? Short answer, no. Nuanced answer is still a no, but I admit reminiscing and fantasizing once in a while on what my life in France would have been had I stayed, pursued a career in Paris and applied for French citizenship this year. These fantasies recur especially during stressful moments at work and when confronted with the agony of living in Manila at times. But these are only fleeting moments of daydreaming.
Above and beyond this fantasy, I’ve decided that my life is worth more than just the pursuit of personal happiness. I wanted my life to be relevant. I’ve long realized that my life would be meaningful if it was in the service of something greater than myself or my immediate family. Fate did not endow me with the sum of my talents and experiences as Filipino the past three decades to live selfishly and obscurely based solely on my own terms and desires. Happiness, I now believe, follows if I pursue fulfillment first and foremost–beyond the day-to-day desire for personal comfort and delight. The career in the Philippine foreign service offered me a perspective beyond one, two, three years. It offered me the a sense of purpose based on a life of service and a sense of fulfillment with the prospect of unique adventures and challenges I don’t think I could get from any other career.
I can say with all sincerity that I am at peace with my decision, and I am looking forward to a lifelong career as a foreign service officer.
April 16, 2022. One of the highlights of my family’s vacation was a trip to Bais and the Manjuyod sand bar around the center of Negros Oriental province. The resort we stayed in gladly arranged for us a whole day trip to these destinations where we chased and watched dolphins in the sea and had amazing lunch in the middle of a submerged sand bar.
The trip to Bais City from our resort in Dauin took us almost two hours northward from Dumaguete. The van took us directly to Canibol Wharf where a large banca was waiting for us to bring us to Tañon strait, the body of water that separates Negros Island from Cebu.
At this time of the year, with ideal current and wind conditions, visitors will encounter immaculately calm waters, almost perfectly still and glass-like at certain parts of the sea. A large section of this area is a protected marine seascape. Some Filipino lawyers and law students might be familiar with ‘Tañon Strait’ as it hosts ‘the resident marine mammals’ who were found by the Supreme Court to have legal standing to be represented and have in fact claimed protection under the laws of the country.
April 14-17, 2022. The first part of my trip was devoted to spending quality time with my family, celebrating my mom and my brother’s birthdays staying in a proper luxury boutique resort in Dauin, a town south of Dumaguete, and doing day tours in provincial capital and its surrounding towns of Valencia, Bais and Manjuyod.
How we got there
It takes just above an hour by plane from Manila to get to Dumaguete, the capital of the province, and the gateway to all the other places in this part of Central Visayas. From the airport, we had a pre-booked van in order to go to the resort in Dauin, a dozen or so kilometers to the south of Dumaguete.
What we did
For our first day, a friend of my mom’s friend toured us around some parts of Dumaguete. After stopping by a the Catholic church in the center of the city, we went to Valencia to drive around some of the mountain attractions. We made several stops including one at a road side where sulfur steams out from the ground.
Note: This is a re-composed version of a series of tweets posted on the same date.
I have decided not to pursue pending job applications in Paris in order to take on my forthcoming appointment with the Philippines’ Department of Foreign Affairs. This also means I have decided to forego my chance for naturalization in France. Although many of you might think I am making a mistake, at the moment this is what feels right for me.
The two years I spent in France were among the best in my life and the prospect of re-doing my life, low-key and without a care in the world, with all the perks of ‘first world’ citizenship, far from all my profound frustrations in the Philippines was (and still is) so very appealing.
However, I realize that I want a deeper sense of purpose. A low-key private life as a citizen in Europe is a dream! But I also pine for sense of relevance in this world and all that’s happening. In the end, the question that lingered throughout my thought process was–what am I here for? The unique chance to be diplomat excites me. The pieces didn’t fall into place for me to ignore.
Note: This is a re-composed version of a series of tweets posted on the same date. It garnered quite some controversy after it was republished in a website without consent. But I’m nevertheless posting it here for posterity.
This year I have the choice to either enter the Philippine foreign service or start an application for French naturalization, since I technically become eligible this June. Divergent and significant life choices ahead, and the temptation is strong. The election results might play a significant role in my decision.
If you’re wondering how I am eligible so soon–the five (5) year residency requirement for an application for French citizenship is shortened to two (2) years after obtaining a masters degree from a French university. Well, that aside from other conditions of course, but at least I get to tick one major requirement this year. I can theoretically start the application this June because that would have been two years since I graduated from my first masters degree in Paris.
July 20-26, 2020. The first half of last week was spent contemplating on and preparing last minute necessities for my impending departure from Manila. I made last minute trips to the mall, saw some friends, and finally got myself to pack the relatively few things I would be taking with me–considering that I would be staying abroad for a year. They all fit in just one suitcase and a duffel bag, actually. I flew out of Manila on July 22 and arrived in Paris the day after, spending a brief layover in Doha, Qatar. I wrote a separate blog entry narrating the experience of the entire transit.